Brothers and sisters in Christ, beloved turtles of His pasture, gather round! For today, we’re gonna talk about a Jesus you’ve never considered before. Oh, I feel the Spirit trembling in my pelvis—this one’s gonna knock your socks off and paint your toenails Holy Ghost White!

Oh Lord, Master of the Universe, King of Kings, and Supreme Distributor of Acrylic Nail Sets! We come before you with hearts open, nails unpolished, and cuticles thirsty for your sanctifying oils. 

Bless this word, Lord, as absurd as it may seem to us mere mortals, for it is Your will, and Your will is always… manicured. Amen, and amen.

Now, picture this if you will, folks: Jesus Christ—yes, our sweet Lord and Savior—walking into “Heavenly Touch Nail Salon” down on Main Street. 

He’s got His sandals on, but they’re worn. His toenails are chipped from walking the dusty roads of Galilee. And when He enters, there’s no fanfare. No angels blasting trumpets or anything fancy like that. He simply picks up an apron, ties it around His waist, and says in His soft, humble voice, “My Father has sent Me to shine your nails and heal your soles.”

Now, I know what some of y’all are thinking. “Brother Ezekiel, why would Jesus, the King of Kings, lower Himself to such a task?” And I’ll tell you why, oh doubters of little faith! Because that’s just the kind of Savior He is.

You see, while the Pharisees were busy judging folks for having chipped polish or calloused feet, Jesus was in the back, setting up His UV lamp and preparing His sacred pumice stone. 

While the world worries about the outside—designer shoes, fancy brands—Jesus gets down to the real issue: the rough, unpolished, gnarly stuff on the inside. Yes, He’s buffing out our sins, filing away our iniquities, and applying a top coat of GRACE!

Now, here’s where it gets wild, folks. One day, a woman came in, dragging her heels and hiding her hands. Oh, she was embarrassed, y’all. Her nails were chewed down to the quick. “Jesus,” she whispered, “I’m not worthy of a manicure from you.”

But Jesus—oh, sweet, Jesus—took her hands in His and said, “My child, look at these nails. Look at these hands.” And He held up His own palms, still scarred from the cross, nails driven through by the sins of humanity. “These hands,” He said, “know what it means to be broken. And yet, they still hold the power to heal. Let me paint you in the color of redemption.”

And with that, He dipped His brush into the bottle of Crimson Sacrifice #7 and made her hands as beautiful as the dawn.

Now, I won’t lie to you. Not everyone appreciated Jesus’ work at the nail salon. Some folks in town started spreading rumors. Said His methods were “too radical.” Said He was “driving the other technicians out of business” because He wasn’t charging a dime.

And then came the darkest hour of His ministry. One night, a man stumbled in—a tax collector named Jerry. Oh, Jerry had a problem, folks. His feet were blackened with guilt, his toenails thick with greed. Jesus knelt to serve him, but Jerry pulled back, saying, “You can’t fix this mess, Lord.”

Jesus looked him in the eye and said, “Jerry, no pedicure is beyond My reach.”

But as He reached for Jerry’s foot, the man howled and fled. Some say he left claw marks on the door.

And yet, despite the naysayers and the shadows, the salon thrived. People came from all over—Judea, Samaria, the ends of the Earth—to experience the touch of the Savior. Some left with French tips, others with dazzling ombré designs, but all left with hearts transformed.

And that’s the message today, folks: Jesus isn’t afraid to get His hands dirty. Whether flipping tables in the temple or scrubbing your bunions, He’s here for ALL of it. The nail salon is a metaphor, you see—a reminder that holiness isn’t about looking perfect. It’s about letting Him take the mess and turn it into something glorious.

So, who here today is ready to sit in the chair of salvation? Who here is willing to let Jesus soak their sins in the acetone of repentance? Who’s ready to walk out of this sanctuary with not just a new set of nails but a renewed spirit?

Let us bow our heads in prayer. And if the Spirit moves you, there’s a box of nail polish by the altar. Pick one up and remember: Jesus paid it all… including the tip. Hallelujah and amen!