dark humor
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Life’s Cheaper After Midnight
The night I decided to become a better person was the same night I learned how cheaply a human life could be priced, especially my own. It was my first night working at the QuikStop, and the strange manager, Bernard,… Continue reading
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Surprise Party
“I didn’t mean to kill him,” Marla said, setting her coffee cup on the counter, “but in my defense, I didn’t know he would surprise me like that.” It was quite the jam they were in now. Her affair partner,… Continue reading
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Psychic Change
“I think I’m having a spiritual experience.” It was not the first time Perry had said this. And it certainly wouldn’t be the last. They were sitting in the run-down diner on Main Street, the overhead light flickering on and… Continue reading
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Custodian of the Cult
Stan didn’t mind the graveyard shift at Denver International Airport. It was quiet. Peaceful, even. After the last red-eye took off, the terminal lights dimmed and the only sound was the rhythmic squeak of his mop across polished floors. He’d… Continue reading
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Fragments, 5.21.25
There’s always something strange on my commute, but this Mother’s Day stood out like the sorest of thumbs. On the ride home, I passed a man walking along the sidewalk, casually gripping a machete. He looked menacing enough that, for… Continue reading
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Regret Comes Shuffling In
Mildred had always said her Harold was a hard man to live with, but an even harder one to live without. So when she discovered a dusty old necromancy manual wedged behind the casserole dishes at St. Ignatius’s rummage sale,… Continue reading
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Grandma’s Thrift & Bone
The sign out front said “GRANDMA’S THRIFT & BONE – UNDEAD GOODS, AMAZING PRICES!” in flaking paint and what might have been coagulated blood. Beneath it, a handwritten chalkboard cheerfully advertised: TODAY’S SPECIAL: BUY ONE SKULL, GET A FREE TIBIA!… Continue reading
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Sweet Tooth
The rain came down like God had tripped over His own garden hose. Thunder rolled across the suburbs of Evershade in ominous belches, and Nick, the most underpaid cookie delivery driver this side of the apocalypse, squinted through his cracked… Continue reading
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Neither Snow Nor Rain Nor Your Eternal Screams
On the dead-end stretch of Hemlock Circle, the lawns were manicured, the dogs were quiet, and the mailboxes were all sealed with holy water and zip ties. Because of Harold. The mailman. He came every day at 3:33 PM, sharp… Continue reading
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The Dandelion Rite
Every spring, just as the dandelions began to blossom, the townsfolk of Gristlethatch performed The Planting. It was tradition, ancient and grim. No one quite remembered how it started—some said it was in the town charter, others blamed the bees—but… Continue reading
God Is In The Radio 